Taming your Toddler During the Terrible Twos

About 50 to 60 percent of toddlers will throw tantrums; it's a natural part of their development. It is important to note that it can begin anytime during your child's second year, and so anytime after their first birthday, and unfortunately, sometimes even before.
Is there anything we as parents can do to tame these toddlers?
Avoidance of the toddler tantrum is often the best way to cope providing you can do this without compromising on the limits you have set. Once they have exploded into a fully fledged rage there is little you can do but minimize the damage, keep them safe and try to end it as soon as possible.

At this age we don't see much co-operation with toddlers; they don't socialize very well and they're very egocentric. Toddlers only care about what they want, but don't have the verbal skills to tell someone. When they can't get their point across the only thing they know how to do is to burst into tears or throw a tantrum. When your precious little one has turned into a little monster just remember, he is just trying to express his growing independence and doesn't have the language skills to easily express his needs. The key is to make the toddler feel more secure. Much of their frustration stems from a lack of control over their environment.

Offer them a stable routine and you may well see that they are more calm, collected and in control of their outbursts. Provide them with a means of communication; Baby Sign Language can be a useful tool to help them communicate what they want. Using simple gestures can be helpful for a toddler who doesn't have the vocabulary for all of the things in their world just yet. Baby Sign Language can also be used to re-direct the child away from the source of frustration to a more agreeable alternative.

A toddler tantrum defined by their inability to control their intense emotions and is often fueled by frustration at the lack of control they possess over their environment. It can be due to an accumulation of minor but stressful events that occurred to the toddler during the day which finally builds up into a storm often when they are overtired or hungry. It pays to be vigilant at all times to avoid a toddler tantrum from erupting. Although it is not always achievable or practical, try to pre-empt their behavior.

It is really important to set boundaries. A toddler is overwhelmed if they do not have boundaries. Setting a routine with boundaries and consistently sticking to this will help your toddler become more resilient. Offer them limited choices; give them the option of one thing or the other. Don't open the draw and ask them what they want to wear for the day, put out two outfits and offer them one or the other. Spend quality one on one time with your toddler. They are more likely to go off and play happily on their own once they have had their fill of your attention.

Don't fight them on every single battle, pick your battles. Rather than give in to their tantrums, use a distraction or offer an alternative to focus the attention away from the problem. Try to step in early and recognize the signs of the upcoming melt down. Focus on his good behavior rather than the negative. Just remember the terrible twos are a phase and will pass. The terrible twos are just a natural part of growing up and they do end.

If it looks as though things are starting to build up, use a distraction to diffuse the situation before it begins. Try to work out what sets your little one off on a toddler tantrum; is it always at the shopping centre, at the end of the day or when you are due to leave someone's house? If there is a pattern to the behavior, be prepared in advance by offering a distraction that leads into the next activity.

Toddler tantrums can often be caused by their inability to communicate. Research has demonstrated that better communication skills can be of a benefit for minimizing toddler tantrums. Baby sign language has shown to help with the earlier development of communication skills and could be used as not only an effective means of communication but also as a means for providing a distraction. Once the toddler tantrum has begun, try not to lose control yourself. If you do lose your cool it might pay to take some time out before dealing with the situation, providing they are in no danger or risk of harming themselves.

By raising your voice or losing your temper you are demonstrating to them that this is normal behavior and almost guaranteeing that they will continue to deal with situations with a lack of control in the future. Remember your toddler is feeling very scared of their ability to lose control and they are looking to you for support. By showing them that you have control over the situation when they have lost it will help them to calm down quicker. Consistency is the key.

Get a head start and be prepared for what is coming. Improve their communication skills early on to avoid the frustrations later. Remain one step ahead and provide an alternate option before the temper tantrum erupts. Pick your battles, don't fight them on every step of the way, if they are having a bad day make some allowances or put doing certain things off until another day. Positive parenting is the key.

Just remember, when you are at the shopping centre trying to avoid the flailing arms and legs from connecting, every other parent out there have all been there themselves.

Lisa Baade is the author of Toddler Interpreter, A Parent's Guide to Baby Sign Language for Hearing Babies and Toddlers. By the time the baby has worked through the 5 stages of learning, the baby signs have progressed with the child's development and most children will be ready to replace all signs with fully developed speech, which remains the goal. Toddler Interpreter Baby Sign Language Resources can be purchased on line from http://www.toddlerinterpreter.com